is like an iceberg,
often we only see the ANGER and BLAME that follow,
the smallest portion of the iceberg.
These two emotions are usually the most visible elements in conflict.
Most often the picture can be much more complicated.
As emotions and behaviors become more heated, conflicts can become more intense.
Here are some key points we discussed in one of our life skill classes:
- In conflict, we don’t necessarily oppose the other person. Rather, we oppose something that was said or done and then have an emotional reaction to it.
- Our emotional reactions are ours; only we can own them and only we deal with them.
- We have the power to deal with our emotions and behaviors in a conflict.
- We have the power to get control of our emotions before a conflict escalates.
Once we understand what the underlying feelings are that led to the conflict we can work towards resolving it in a constructive manner. –Kristin TFL Program Director